Good evening, internet! Normally, I do not refer to other articles. I have to end my silence.
Welcome to the internet everyone, Mario is now evil, according to PETA for using: A TANOOKI SUIT. Thats right. Remember Mario's snugly little suit from Super Mario Bros. 3? I do. I turned to ROCK. I was pimping. Now, PETA makes a cute game, be warned, this is probably the more stupid things I have seen on the Internets. Okay, not like deep internet stupid, but this is the first time I went WTF since I read 'Cupackes' which I also do not advise reading. Seriously. But really. I was really hoping to NOT have to go into super soapbox mode this week, but NO. PETA has to get all PETA-like, and just ruin Mario.
So, let me make my case out for you. I am a simple man. I enjoy simple things. I also eat meat. And, I will give two explanations as to why.
- Humans are designed as carnivores, meaning I should eat BOTH fruits, vegetables, and FLESH.
- I am HUNGRY. Sorry, I can't live off of corn and grain. I'll go loopy. See? I had to use loopy.
So, when PETA gets self-righteous, I can understand. Killing animals like what the US did to Buffalo? Wrong. Killing a Deer for its antlers, or a Lion for its pelt? Wrong. Eating eggs, using milk, honey, and using all of the available meat on animals? Good. But where do you come off on saying "MARIO IS EVIL FOR WEARING FURS!" Believe it or not, that's how we survived as a species. Leather is VERY warm. And I LIKE TO CAPITALIZE WORDS. CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL, AS ANY INTERNET VETERAN CAN TELL YOU. We need furs, I almost bought a stocking cap made with rabbits fur. It was a nice hat. Too bad it was snug on my XXL head. Why do they not make hats for people who need two "One size fits most" hats to get it on their head? Come on, I play TF2, I like hats too!
One last thing, I won't be talking about Skyrim for awhile. Sorry. Makes me want to play too much. Actually, that gives me a good idea... Until next time, think before you make cute flash games that involve dead animals.
--Santa
PS- for all of you who finished Arkham City, how bout that Joker?
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