Updates- The Thanksgiving That Santa Forgot

Okay, so maybe I basically forgot about blogging over Thanksgiving. I'm human, I forgot. Okay, I lied again. I totally knew about doing blog posts, I just didn't WANT to do them. I was playing Skyrim. And League of Legends. Arkham City.
And Toontown.
But that's besides the point. The point was video games. And I played them. A lot. But, I have a few announcements!
Guess who bought Graves on LoL and hit level 30? This guy. Now I spend all of my time banning trolls on the Tribunal. I'm just that great.
I finished the Dragon quest on Skyrim. And the Civil war quest for the Empire, and then I killed the Emporer. I can now safely say that I can review this game.
It's pretty much the best game ever.
Yeah, I'm saying it, I'm dethroning TF2. I didn't think it was possible, I mean really, there are hats in TF2. BUT THERE ARE HATS IN SKYRIM TOO. Thats why! Skyrim has everything I've ever wanted.
Hats.
Swords.
Fireballs.
Dragons.
Killing.
And wood cutting!
That's right, kiddos, you can do ANYTHING you want. Well, except fly. Okay thats not true, YOU can't fly, but DRAGONS can. And that's everything I've ever asked for.
Dynamic questlines, good voice acting, the retun of Sheogorath, not to mention improved Wabbajack. Oh yes, Wabbajack. From turning people into chickens, to making them explode, I have found the reason I like Skyrim so much. Randomness.
And now, I can only imagine putting Wabbajack on different items.
Thanks for sitting next to me, kid.
Well, until next time kids, remember to eat your vegetables. I know I enjoy my pizza too.
--Santa

PETA: Now Video Games Expert

Good evening, internet! Normally, I do not refer to other articles. I have to end my silence.

Welcome to the internet everyone, Mario is now evil, according to PETA for using: A TANOOKI SUIT. Thats right. Remember Mario's snugly little suit from Super Mario Bros. 3? I do. I turned to ROCK. I was pimping. Now, PETA makes a cute game, be warned, this is probably the more stupid things I have seen on the Internets. Okay, not like deep internet stupid, but this is the first time I went WTF since I read 'Cupackes' which I also do not advise reading. Seriously. But really. I was really hoping to NOT have to go into super soapbox mode this week, but NO. PETA has to get all PETA-like, and just ruin Mario.

So, let me make my case out for you. I am a simple man. I enjoy simple things. I also eat meat. And, I will give two explanations as to why.

1. Humans are designed as carnivores, meaning I should eat BOTH fruits, vegetables, and FLESH.
2. I am HUNGRY. Sorry, I can't live off of corn and grain. I'll go loopy. See? I had to use loopy.

So, when PETA gets self-righteous, I can understand. Killing animals like what the US did to Buffalo? Wrong. Killing a Deer for its antlers, or a Lion for its pelt? Wrong. Eating eggs, using milk, honey, and using all of the available meat on animals? Good. But where do you come off on saying "MARIO IS EVIL FOR WEARING FURS!" Believe it or not, that's how we survived as a species. Leather is VERY warm. And I LIKE TO CAPITALIZE WORDS. CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL, AS ANY INTERNET VETERAN CAN TELL YOU. We need furs, I almost bought a stocking cap made with rabbits fur. It was a nice hat. Too bad it was snug on my XXL head. Why do they not make hats for people who need two "One size fits most" hats to get it on their head? Come on, I play TF2, I like hats too!

One last thing, I won't be talking about Skyrim for awhile. Sorry. Makes me want to play too much. Actually, that gives me a good idea... Until next time, think before you make cute flash games that involve dead animals.

--Santa

PS- for all of you who finished Arkham City, how bout that Joker?

Skyrim: The Final Frontier

So, I've been doing this for, well, 10 weeks now. I guess I actually am a blogger. And, I started this blog as an Assignment for my AP class. And this weekend coming up is Thanksgiving break, and I don't need to post for these next two weeks.

But I can't do that to you guys.

I mean really, we're like a family that doesn't know each other, and I just yell my opinion at you for a couple of minutes every few days. But, I actually like blogging, even as much as that disturbs me. But really, I'm a worldwide blogger. I've got just as many views from Russia as the US, which confuses me, I must admit. And I even got some Brits and like one German in the mix too. Really, I can check all of this in my cute little "stats" bar. Even some Linux users read this. I'm just that special. But, I gotta say, really, some of you use IE? You may be the minority, but come on, Firefox is just two clicks away.

But, you didn't come here to listen to me nag! Of course not! You want to hear scream in ecstasy about Skyrim.

You came to the right place.

Game of the year. Its that simple. Game, year, this. Its like they took Oblivion, and rolled in 27 kittens, and textures, and like Sean Connery, because everyone is British suddenly. But, I have no problem with this! I am physically in love with this game. I waited in line for this game for 4 hours.

Outside. It was raining. At 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Best moment of my life.

Skyrim has better everything.

Gameplay

Graphics

Textures

Plotlines

Storylines

Pots

Voice Acting (OH YES THE VOICE ACTING)

Mud crabs

Snotty Expressions (harder to make ugly-ass people, but I try)

Dual Wielding

Updated spells (Nothing like Bioshock, no...)

Yes! Skyrim has it all. Well, except guns. And VATS. And teddy bears. It's got almost everything, but I forgive them. Current, I have a level 14 Imperial, main focus on one-handed and destruction. Its working out well, Ill give a full review when I finish more of the game.

--Santa

Skyrim

I don't usually post more than 3 times a week, I know.

Skyrim.

That's it. I stayed up for the midnight release, talked to alot of nerds, and then.

Skyrim.

Thats all.

Only 31 Hours Now!

I promised myself I wouldn't make a post about this.

Not yet.

I lied.

Skyrim

Only 31 hours from now.

Why do I keep making new paragraphs?

I'm not sure, but still. Skyrim. I per-ordered about 3 hours ago and got a root canal at the dentists. Didn't hurt. I was thinking about Skyrim. Guess what this blogs about?

Bioshock.

Thats right! Its the 3rd post of the week! You thought I would forget? NO. I always post a flashback or debate on the last post on the week.

Don't be so silly.

Today, Bioshock.

Yes, this game isn't old, but, well, yes it is old. But not like old-old. Like epic game old.

I got Bioshock in the Oblivion-Bioshock bundle. It was two layers of happiness. Did I mention Skyrim comes out in 31 hours?

Bioshock is what convinced me to like plot based games. It revolves around Jack, your very own sweater wearing protagonist. You have had the unfortunate luck to have crashed into the ocean. But, fear not! For you have crashed right next to an island that leads right into the dystopia of Rapture. Inside you find some of the greatest minds in the world.

They have been genetically altered and want to kill you.

sad truth, isn't it? They have stumbled upon this extract called ADAM that allows you to play with your own DNA like it was made of Lego's. And now, to survive you must enter into the same dangerous region they have, and use the greatest weapon you have available, yourself.

Yes, shooting fire bolts, bees, and lighting bolts from your wrist. Dangerous business. A scary shoot-em-up adventure. It has a great explosive plot, and a fantastic ending.

So, for all of you reading this post to kill those last 30 hours, good luck.

I'll be back on Tuesday

--Santa

Gamestation- A Look Into Setups

So, I was thinking, first of all, I need a name to address all of you by, so instead of saying ladies and gentlemen, I will now address you simply as “internet”, mostly because as far as I know, you ARE the internet. You’re using it, and I know nothing about you. And you know nothing about me. Except that I like to stand up on a virtual soap box and rant about video games. But no matter! Today, I will get more personal, my internet compadres, for today I am talking about the necessities of gaming, and all around internet use.

The workstation!

Ah yes, when I was a small child, my daddy used to take me with him when he went to chop down walnut trees with his fists. He would then tear the tree apart, and make various forms of furniture. One day, he met a giant ’70 behemoth of a tree. When he defeated the foe, he made a giant desk, and said “Son, when you grow up, this will be your desk.”

Of course, that’s not how it REALLY happened. But, it sounded nice, right?

I do actually have a really nice desk that my dad owned before me. He moved, and had no need for the desk anymore. When I say this desk is big, I do it no justice. I could sleep on this desk; it’s the size of a bed. It really is a nice desk, it’s got secret compartments, and big drawers to hold all of my various, unneeded items. I probably have around 1,500 to 3,752 legos in these drawers. But, the desk isn’t what matters! It’s how you use it! And, I use it to the best of my abilities. Covering it with my horrid computer. Oh, you don’t think it’s bad, do you? I’ll give you the specs.  I’ll pull up dxdiag right now…

• ·         Windows Vista 32 bit OS
• ·         Pentium Dual Core E2180, clocked at 2.0GHz
• ·         2036 MB of RAM, its DDR2 at 800 MHz
• ·         Graphics: Intel Chipset-  with 286 MB of data

All of that from a cute little Dell inspiron 530s, I put it through a lot. From League of Legends, to me going on TF2 shouting “STOUT SHAKO FOR 2 REFINED” at a wall on a trade server. Yeah, I still blue screen every now and then.  All of this is shown to me over a 21” Hannspree monitor, and is flown through a Netgear wireless adaptor. A lot of this made no sense to those of you who play console games only. All of you PC gamers are laughing at my horrid specs. But, it’s the truth. But, the rest of my station is filled with AP textbooks, half-finished projects, random books, office supplies, candy wrappers, and, nick-nacks.

Anyone who has a desk has nick-nacks. It’s a necessity. Now, let me give you a small bit of my selection

• ·         Statue of Noble Team, courtesy of Halo Reach: Legendary Edition
• ·         Gold army men, spray painted by yours truly
• ·         The Golden Wrench from TF2, once again, spray painted by yours truly
• ·         Albert Einstein bobblehead
• ·         Model of a ship

These may be under a mountain of paper at the moment, but, hey, I can still see Albert chilling out with Kat. Its pretty cool. Every desk should be covered with at least 5 nick-knacks. And I may be adding a statue from Skyrim, if I can control it.

Finally, Ill go beyond my desk. Sitting to my immediate left is the all knowing USMC TV that holds my Xbox and Wii.  I got it from my grandfather, who was a marine, and won it in a raffle. He didn’t need it, and gave it to us. Along with two La-Z-Boys! These magnificent beasts are what hold me for up to 12 hours a day.  I even pull it up to my desk, even though I have a computer chair. I find it to be more comfy, especially during winter.  My brother is using the Xbox as I speak, beating up baddies on Arkham City. But, I got a cute little rotating game shelf that holds all of my objects.

For all of you out there, keep your gaming space in mind. I know that some day, I will get a new computer, and on that day, Im going to get a HDMI cord, and hook my Xbox up to my monitor, and move it up to my desk. Maybe get a second monitor, and play games while I play games. That will be the day. Until I win the lottery, or find a briefcase filled with ten million dollars, I will keep my current setup. And although it can be slow, at least I still have the internet.

--Santa

Sitting at Home With nothing to Do, Post Time!

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, my recent strand of illness has been plaguing me for the past 10 days, and I finally gave in and went to the doctor. But, you don't read this blog to hear about me! You read this blog to hear me rant, don't you? So, I have to figure something out while I sit here and do nothing but play Toontown! So, what should we discuss today, ladies and gentlemen? Yes, I know Skyrim is in just a few days. Yes, I know Ultimate marvel is just 4 days after that. Yes, I know Modern Warfare 3 is coming out soon, too. But, today I want to talk about the theory of video games.

So, what is the point to something that doesn't exist? Why play something you don't get anything out of? Why do something that costs money, but gets you nowhere? Well, in all honesty, its fun. And why would you go out and do something like paintball and get all bruised up? Its fun, to the same point about life. "OH NO SANTA IS WASTING HIS LIFE DOING POINTLESS THINGS. HE WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING." Yeah, its pointless, but it gives me something that I like to do. Whats the point of living if you don't do anything you enjoy? Yeah, its not productive to the largest degree, but I'm enjoying life, why shouldn't you? If you find enjoyment playing football, do it. If you get hurt, you knew the risks when you started playing. When you play video games, cool. Realize that it may not be productive. I live in America, and I enjoy the rights that I got, and I use it to waste time, and I expect others to do the same, or go out and do something, its a great thing about this country.

This may seem a bit random, especially to just randomly stand up on my little soap box here on this tiny blog. But,  I made this blog as an experiment, and here is what I post my opinion. A lot of you will probably share it, but all I ask is that you don't go around nagging. I find it to be fun, and enjoy my time. I need no defense for what I do other than this. For everyone out there, go and enjoy yourself. I know I am. I'm going to go watch old episodes of Red Dwarf and sleep, hopefully I get better soon.

Flashback: The Only Good RPG for the GBA

Ladies and gentlemen, I was never really into RPGs, except for on the internet. But even then, I didn't play too many. But, there is one game that I have played through. This is the only game I have replayed more than 5 times. Guess. Ill give you a hint. It isn't Fire Emblem. It's the Greatest embodiment of Mario ever. The Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga series. That's right, put on those stripedy socks, and lets get rolling!

The M&L series has 3 installments, the original Saga, Partners in Time, and Bowser's Inside Story. The first of which starts out with Princess Peach's voice being stolen by the evil Cackletta. So, to get it back, you must travel over to the Bean Kingdom, in hopes of restoring your princess's once oh so sumptuous voice. But, with many plot twists, and memorable villains, there's plenty a story to go around.

Gameplay involves jumping (never would have guessed, would ya?) using hammers, Fire, electricity, and Bro moves. Where Mario and Luigi tag up and use specialized moves that deal massive damage to enemies weak points, but you only have so many bro points to do them. But, you can eat syrup to replenish these much needed points. Game play is smooth, and you always get the chance to dodge moves, which is a nice touch. the music is ingrained in my mind, and still gives me goosebumps whenever I listen to the final boss music. But overall, I love the humor and wit to the game. Mario and Luigi's fake Italian speaking to each other to interactions with Bowser. It completes the Mario universe for me, making my inner fan boy scream in delight.

The second game puts the mustached twin back through time, allowing you to pair up with the younger versions of the Italian duo: babies Mario and Luigi. Looking adorable in their little hats and diapers, they must save the world from evil aliens. The idea of having two teams with different, interesting powers was a fantastic plan, and was the first game I ever played on the DS, actually, it was the reason I bought it. I spent many hours playing it, although not as many as the original, I still loved its permise.

Finally, I come to Bowser's Inside Story. When a horrible disease strikes the Mushroom Kingdom, the last thing the plumbers need is Bowser kidnapping the Princess. Oh, then he eats them. A fun-filled adventure, with just as many twists and turns as the original. I loved the score so much, I downloaded the music, impressive for someone as lazy as myself, and the gameplay flowed better than the second one does. Although the story may be a bit cheezy in parts, it still is very humorous. 

Although I still wonder if Nintendo went to the trouble of actually getting Italian speakers to voice the twins, I still find their antics to be hilarious. I find that Luigi's part makes him feel like more of a character, and not just a green Mario, as I usually think of him. Playing through these games makes me want to get out my old games, and see if my NES still works. I still have my original Super Mario Brothers 3, and I would love to play the original again.

Updates: Zombies, Skies With Rims, Sick Clowns, and a bit of the Author

Good morning, audience. I don't normally type this early, but, I have been slowly dying over an unknown illness over the past few days, so I figured that I might as well get that word count up! Turns out that I'm not that good at looking up things, so, now I will talk about a few major events.

 I bought Arkham City the other day, expect a review soonish. Maybe. Depends if I finish the game before Skyrim comes out. Otherwise, it'll be like me with New Vegas and Reach. I still haven't finished New Vegas's main storyline.

There are just 9 days until Skyrim releases! Thats right, Adolf's favorite number stands between us and Game of The Year.

Frank West IS in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3. It's on their website and everything. Gameplay footage? No. Wait. Oh my. Click this. Well, there goes another 40 bucks. It will be worth it though.

Well, so many things to look forward to, so many things I have to do. Well, I'm going to go drink a bottle of Nyquil, and sleep. Hopefully I'll stop coughing up balls of phlegm as brown as brownies.

D&D: Hey, I can Play More Than Just Videogames!

"OH LOOK! THERES SANTA SNARK SNARK HE PLAYS D&D HE MUST BE A N00B! LOLOL" That's Right, I play D&D and I am proud. I have a level 4 Half-Elf Warrior. That’s right, I'm pretty pro. Nobody can touch this. Well, except those with a "touch" spell, but that's pretty gross. Today, we take an overview on Dungeons and Dragons, version 3.5.

So, are all of you witches and Warlocks excited? BECAUSE I AM. D&D is one of the most inventive games of all time. No, it is THE most inventive game of all time. Skyrim wants to try to hit the creative standard which is D&D, but it can't, but I forgive it. D&D allows for many different styles of gameplay, but I only use one type, and one set of rules.

Dungeons and Dragons is mostly played in Version 3.5 and 4.0 formats, but I started on 3.5, and on 3.5 I shall stay. I have been a DM, but I prefer taking the form of a PC and destroying the waves of monsters who stand in our path. I play a 4 person campaign, and we are currently introducing a noobie into our ranks. Yes, it is very exciting to jump into the leagues of such an exciting game, but we haven't even gotten very far. In 6 months, we've progressed 3 levels, making progress slow.

Storyline is everything in Dungeons and Dragons, and we do it differently from how the books suggest. We don't use a board, and we don't use any figurines. Too expensive and tiny. So, we use our imaginations instead. Cool, right? It's actually gotten to some quite intense parts, and when we stop screwing around (and I stop making jokes) we may just advance the plot this session.

As for character design, I'll just give an example, my own character: Ve'Tran Godmund. Cool name, right? Better yet, he's a level 4 Half-Elf fighter. When the DM rolled a 000, he gave me a warhorse named Applejack. Sad she doesn't have a Stetson, that'd be pretty boss. But, Seeing to the fact that I have a horse, that opens up all new forms of combat, in both mounted, and bucking, which I can say I take advantage of a good deal. But, Godmund is a character that I made to be special. Complete with an inverted nipple, addiction to eating poisonous elder berries, and the fact the whenever he eats chocolate his brain swells, I can get a good laugh from him. But, I chose charisma as main point of focus, giving him high rolls for Intimidation, Charm, and Diplomacy, making a tough battle a lot easier. 

Dice. So many dice. I am afraid to admit that I do not own my own set, and it is quite embarrassing. But, 2 members do own 2 sets each, making it easy for us. But, the two most important dies are the d20 and d percent. The d20 is your general accuracy roll, saving throw, and just about everything roll.  The d percent controls randomized events, and luck. For example, I got my horse on a 000, and we had to fight a horde of demons, followed by a high leveled one on a 98. The d percent has given different effects, getting 'epics' control how well you will do. For example I rolled a 20 for intimidate, and rolled again. Another 20. I got up, punched a guy in the throat for 4 damage, he choked to death. A bit graphic, yes, but, it saved us from a gruesome battle. Another time a 1. Epic failure, with a 2 to back it. Instead of interrogating a guy, I hit on him. It didn't work out for us. Luckily, my friend next to me rolled a 20-17. Saving us a big opportunity.

For any of you who find yourselves anxious for a big game like Skyrim, and have good friends who will come together to play, take the time to try it. It’s quite fun. All you need are the characters sheets, an imagination, and a set of dice. Oh, and friends. Cheetos help too.