The Internet & Blargument: My Little Blog Post

So here we are ladies and gentlemen,  I'm here to post on something that could very possibly tear the entirety of the Internets apart: My Little Pony- Friendship is Magic (And SOPA). Yes, I know, posting about this thing can bee a sort of taboo, but I think that as readers of this blog you should be mature enough to handle this sort of situation. Oh, who am I kidding? None of you care. But, this was a topic I wanted to bring up for the longest of times, and now, I decided to interview a few of my friends to show both sides of the story. One of them is heavily against the movement, the other is a brony himself. I conducted the post over steam, so a big thanks to both Gabe Newell, and my friends.

Santa: Hello gents, thanks for joining me after that last game of LoL, remind me to physically sacrifice my computer to Satan.
Santa: So, Timmeh, whats your view on bronyism?
Timmeh: It's a drain on society.
Santa: Ah.
Santa: And you, Gioff?
Toast: Bronyism is a means to express childhood as an adult.
Santa: Very interesting, what introduced you to the movement?
Toast: I found myself drawn to it after I heard the hype...I watched a few episodes, and was absolutely addicted.
Santa: Timmeh, what makes you want to round up the herd and burn them on a pike?
Toast: It's a silly way to express a desire for the friendships many of us had as kids...
Timmeh: I don't necessarily want to burn them, I like my pony meat medium rare.
Santa: Good point, meat is expensive nowadays.
Timmeh: True.
Timmeh: I don't see much of a difference between bronyism and furryism.
Santa: Santa, your response?
Toast: Being a furry isn't a terrible thing, it's a choice. And the brony movement itself isn't hostile to you in any way, shape or form - why would you want to hurt them? Or for that matter, why would you meddle in their affairs?
Timmeh: Being a furry isn't something to be proud about, furries are trying to be something they aren't, which is pathetic on so many levels. Bronies themselves I have no problem with as long as they don't spam my message box with links to brony youtube videos and wear pony costumes.
Timmeh: Santa -.-
Santa: But timmeh, where else am I supposed to prance around in my self-made pony suit? Isn't the internet a place of free expression?
Timmeh: I meant the youtube links.
Timmeh: -.-
Santa: True, but my point is why can't bronies get an equal cut?
Santa: The internet is the final frontier of free expression,well until SOPA's passed
Timmeh: Not when so called "bronies" are forcing their culture onto other people.
Santa: The internet is the final frontier of free expression.
Timmeh: Not when so called "bronies" are forcing their culture onto other people.
Toast: They aren't, though.
Toast: In fact, it's more the other way around!
Toast: The rest of the internet sees the brony movement as foreign, new, and uninteresting
Toast: and because of that conflict of interests (as happens so often on the internet), everyone imposes their opinion upon one another.
Toast: With the bronies being but a small sliver of the massive internet pie, they face adversity wherever they go.
Toast: No brony is forcing his links in your inbox or his profile on your friends list, you don't 'have' to click the videos, nor do you have to watch them.
Santa: I wouldn't say thats true, if you go just about anywhere on the internet, bronyism is present. Deviant is full of it, boards have popped up like Ponychan, and Equestria Daily has nearly 85 million hits. I see a lot of bronies trying to "assimilate" new members into the herd, any comments on this?
Toast: It's the very same as any other growing movement - people want other people to like what they do. It's harmless to those that don't click on any of the links, and the videos are easy enough to ignore.
Santa: What about spamming?
Toast: Like I said, you can't force anyone to Ponychan or Equestria daily...
Toast: And spamming is a cancer common to all of the internet.
Timmeh: But "bronys" do spam, Santa himself, (as well as others) have spammed links into my chatbox all the while trying to deceive me into clicking them.
Santa: I'm not a good control for the average brony.
Timmeh: No one else has ever tried to do that to me, only "bronys"
Toast: That's simply because your brony friends are trolls.
Santa: Guilty as charged.
Santa: Timmeh, do you think there's anyway bronies and the other 7% of the internet could ever live in peace?
Timmeh: I would say, they are still bronys, and knowing the internet, most bronys would be trolls, since it's an internet fad.
Timmeh: I think they could live in peace with eachother Santa, if they don't try to force their mindless cute pony videos onto everyone else.
Santa: We can only hope.
Santa: One last question.
Santa: Who is the best pony?
Toast: RAINBO DUSH
Toast: WAIT
Toast: BABY PONY
Santa: That baby pony is pretty cute.
Santa: How about you Timmeh?
Timmeh left chat.
Santa: Well, thanks Toast, but we all know that Big Macintosh is the best pony.

And on that note, I bid all of you Fillies and Gentlecolts goodnight.

--Santa

Updates: Australian Christmas, Snowmedinger and Skyrim, Oh My!

Today has been a good day, people of the internet! Well, actually, yesterday was the good day, and now it’s running over into Thursday’s timeslot. But that is no reason to complain! Yes, it’s that time of year ladies and gents, we are in the middle of Christmas themed gaming.

It’s that time of year when all the big game developers make their games all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Well, computer developers tend to. Stupid Bethesda never puts anything fun on the consoles. Or on anything.

No, instead we are now seeing eggnog potions of health in the League and Christmas crates returning in TF2. AND OH YES A NEW COMIC! NARRATED BY THE ENGINEER NONE THE LESS!

I get quite excited when my favorite Texan starts telling me the stories of old Nick, and how he gets into silly little fights with the mafia. But, you know what that means: new hats. Robin Walker & Co. decided they didn't want to go to the trouble of making hats this year (I see no reason why) and have instead let the community at large design some, and will eventually pick their favorites. In the meantime, I can only hope and dream that they give out festive keys to every little player of TF2 so we can pray for a hat. Or maybe even an unusual. Last year I got “Pink as Hell” paint and sold it off in a few minutes. I can only hope I won’t get stuck with something like the Coupe’ Disaster. Nobody wants that.

But, not to be outdone, the League is bringing back their snowy Summoner’s Rift. And to keep it fresh, they’ve made Heimerdinger into Snowmedinger. As a big fan of our little Austrian genius, I’m ready to shell out any amount of money for the cute little guy. Other things include some festive runes, and other skins (like this cute little Gangplank one) but nothing else. But, its always nice to see people gear up for the holidays.

As for Skyrim, I’m still playing. Not as much, I’ve been quite busy as of late, but I plan on grabbing the last of the Dragon Shouts that have been evading me for the last few weeks. They can’t hide forever, and I just can’t wait to be able to scream at chickens and incinerate them into my Christmas day meal. Happy holiday’s internet.

--Santa

PS: Guess who just made a GOTY poll? Vote your hearts out, internet.

The Internet: A Non-Interactive Guide

Hello fellow Internet user!

I am Santa, guide of the internet. As you may very well know, the internet is not always a very nice place. So, I’ve decided to write a few things about the internet to help YOU out! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; you will now be able to browse the internet with ABSOLUTE EASE.

Okay, now that I’ve typed that, I’m going to stop typing with all the up-tightness. Today, internet, we will be discussing about the theories of the internet. I originally intended for this blog to be about the internet, video games, AND technology. And we’ve all seen how well I’ve been able to keep that up. BUT NO MORE! I shall continue with my explanation of the internet, and what could be a better way to start than to just talk about the wonders of the internet today. Today, we big our focus on memes. But first:

So, today’s internet is comprised of about 3-4 parts: LOL Cats, memes, trolls, and Facebook. This is all just generalized, of course. These parts full under different categories, such as:

·         Facebook: The general internet at-large. Think of sites that have nothing to do with the actual internet (IE Google, Walmart.com, Facebook)

·         LOL Cats: The generally innocent parts of the internet—think of Icanhazcheezburger. They’re here for innocent fun.

·         Memes: The fun part of the internet. This is where all of the jokes are made (for the most part) and where most online comics are (xkcd, Cyanide and Happiness, Memebase)

·         Trolls: The “bad” part of the internet lives off 10 year old lays and flat mountain dew. (Omegle, Funnyjunk)

Now, I’m not saying that “m covering all parts of the internet here. I’m not. This is PG blog after all. But the media views the lower two parts as kind of iffy. Some people think that trolls are the spawns of Satan.  Well, here’s something I’ve noticed: I find the internet to be the ONLY frontier in the world for freedom of speech. Now, I’m not campaigning for trolling, but I’ve just got to say…

Good luck trying to rid the world of it. Trolling will always be around. As will be bullying, and I use this to support my case: human nature. Humans really are (when it comes down to it) naturally cruel. Now, there are a few exceptions, I’m sure, but the idea that people think that they can just plain knock it out of existence is just insane. That’s like stating you’re going to wipe out poverty, crime, and hate. Sure, your utopia sounds all fun and great, but you really CAN’T believe it, can you?

I like to see myself as an advocate for the freedoms of the internet. And the reason I am is simple: its plain, stupid fun. The idea of memes is simply a playoff of references, and therefore makes everything simply fun.  What’s the point of “My Life is Average”? It’s evolved from average daily experiences to a full on sensation of pretty cool stories. What’s the point of memes like Chuck Testa or Paula Dean riding things? It’s hilariously stupid. It’s a cute little joke to everyone who’s seen it, bringing people together who know the references.

Memes are eventually destroyed by time. They lose their luster. I thought the Chuck Testa meme got old after two days, but every time I see a reference of taking an arrow to the knee, I still find myself laughing.

I could go on about the old memes for years, but I get the feeling a 10,000 word post won’t get me anywhere. So, I’ll end it on this note: keep the internet a place of freedom-- it’s one thing when someone is slander someone it’s another when someone is just lightly poking fun. Do we really want our newest generation to grow up to be completely sheltered? I mean, come on, we got to teach them sometime to get a backbone, and man up. The world isn’t a hunky-dory place where everyone gets along and sing songs about happy elves.  Although, that would be interesting. Too bad it’d never work. Until then….

--Santa

Skyrim: Game of Every Year-- Since 1911

Not my character, but a pretty cool one, its his.

You thought I was done, didn't you? WRONG! I'm here to continue on about my impressions about the greatest game of all time, beating up Arkham City pretty hard by so far winning both the Inside Gaming GOTY award and now Spike TV's GOTY award.

Seems like my brother's prediction's may be a bit off, eh?

In any case, I want to continue on talking about some of the features in Skyrim that just makes it well, better. Its taken huge strides since Oblivion, and feels like a completely new game. 

But is this necescarily a good thing?

So, on my main account I've logged around 63 hours. I have 19/20 shouts (and 47 out of 60 words), I've destroyed Alduin, stopped a civil war, killed an emporer, become the archmage, and become a werewolf. 

Not to mention the 37 or so dragon's I've vanquished, or the 17 poor defenseless bunnies I've slaughtered, or the 76 nirnroots I've mindlessly plucked from the ground. I've spent a miniscule amount of time in Skyrim compared to Oblivion, but here I am, done with 3 major quest-lines, and close to done with 5. The game moves fast, which is something I like, but I still find it irking that I have only so little time put into it and I've accomplished so much. I'm only level 36, what will I be doing at 47?

Now, it is true that I have been really only focusing on doing questlines, I will admit, I finished the Alduin quest in 4 days because I rushed it. But, that doesn't mean that it couldn't be longer. I have ten and a half million misclaneous quests, but the main dragon story is only 10 hours long? Seems a little obtuse. When am I ever going to actually remember to bring that mammoth tusk to that one guy? Or find gold ore? It just builds. I'll get to them when I have absolutlely NOTHING left to do. I'll probably have all of the crimson nirnroots by then, god forbid. 

The other problem (which is true with every game put out by Bethesda) is bugs. I've been stuck on one part of the Thieves Guild quest for so long that I just gave up and made a new character. It just wasn't worth it. There are other points where I cry with laughter, like using revive on a dragon's skeleton. IT's really quite hilarious. Although these quirks are nice at times, the pro's do not outqeigh the con's.

Overall, Skyrim truly is a remarkable game, that pushes everything to preform a little bit better to keep up with the status quo. It does deserve game of the year because of its changes, but it shouldn't be hailed as perfect since it isn't, but no game ever has, or will ever be. But, until then I have Skyrim. And TF2. And League of Legends. Toontown...

Until next time,

--Santa