The Internet: A Non-Interactive Guide

Hello fellow Internet user!

I am Santa, guide of the internet. As you may very well know, the internet is not always a very nice place. So, I’ve decided to write a few things about the internet to help YOU out! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; you will now be able to browse the internet with ABSOLUTE EASE.

Okay, now that I’ve typed that, I’m going to stop typing with all the up-tightness. Today, internet, we will be discussing about the theories of the internet. I originally intended for this blog to be about the internet, video games, AND technology. And we’ve all seen how well I’ve been able to keep that up. BUT NO MORE! I shall continue with my explanation of the internet, and what could be a better way to start than to just talk about the wonders of the internet today. Today, we big our focus on memes. But first:

So, today’s internet is comprised of about 3-4 parts: LOL Cats, memes, trolls, and Facebook. This is all just generalized, of course. These parts full under different categories, such as:

·         Facebook: The general internet at-large. Think of sites that have nothing to do with the actual internet (IE Google, Walmart.com, Facebook)

·         LOL Cats: The generally innocent parts of the internet—think of Icanhazcheezburger. They’re here for innocent fun.

·         Memes: The fun part of the internet. This is where all of the jokes are made (for the most part) and where most online comics are (xkcd, Cyanide and Happiness, Memebase)

·         Trolls: The “bad” part of the internet lives off 10 year old lays and flat mountain dew. (Omegle, Funnyjunk)

Now, I’m not saying that “m covering all parts of the internet here. I’m not. This is PG blog after all. But the media views the lower two parts as kind of iffy. Some people think that trolls are the spawns of Satan.  Well, here’s something I’ve noticed: I find the internet to be the ONLY frontier in the world for freedom of speech. Now, I’m not campaigning for trolling, but I’ve just got to say…

Good luck trying to rid the world of it. Trolling will always be around. As will be bullying, and I use this to support my case: human nature. Humans really are (when it comes down to it) naturally cruel. Now, there are a few exceptions, I’m sure, but the idea that people think that they can just plain knock it out of existence is just insane. That’s like stating you’re going to wipe out poverty, crime, and hate. Sure, your utopia sounds all fun and great, but you really CAN’T believe it, can you?

I like to see myself as an advocate for the freedoms of the internet. And the reason I am is simple: its plain, stupid fun. The idea of memes is simply a playoff of references, and therefore makes everything simply fun.  What’s the point of “My Life is Average”? It’s evolved from average daily experiences to a full on sensation of pretty cool stories. What’s the point of memes like Chuck Testa or Paula Dean riding things? It’s hilariously stupid. It’s a cute little joke to everyone who’s seen it, bringing people together who know the references.

Memes are eventually destroyed by time. They lose their luster. I thought the Chuck Testa meme got old after two days, but every time I see a reference of taking an arrow to the knee, I still find myself laughing.

I could go on about the old memes for years, but I get the feeling a 10,000 word post won’t get me anywhere. So, I’ll end it on this note: keep the internet a place of freedom-- it’s one thing when someone is slander someone it’s another when someone is just lightly poking fun. Do we really want our newest generation to grow up to be completely sheltered? I mean, come on, we got to teach them sometime to get a backbone, and man up. The world isn’t a hunky-dory place where everyone gets along and sing songs about happy elves.  Although, that would be interesting. Too bad it’d never work. Until then….

--Santa